I am a firm believer in the Simone Signoret quote:

“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years”.

For many of us, those tiny threads of our marriage have begun to unravel, or have even been torn. Maybe through atrophy and inattention, an affair, or a too busy life. Couples’ counseling then is about reconnecting and developing empathy.

FAQ

Q: My spouse ______________. Is there hope for us?

A: It often does not matter what is in that space. Whether it is filled with “had an affair”, “is a giant jerk”, or even “is perfect in every way and I’m terrible” my answer is the same- yes, but there is an if*. If you are looking for someone to take your side, or make your partner change into the person you want; this is not the place. If you are willing to take responsibility, have empathy, forgive, listen; then congratulations, this is the droid you’re looking for.

Q: My partner refuses to come to counseling. Can I still go? Would it even be helpful?

A: It definitely can be. Oftentimes someone is reluctant to go because they are uncomfortable sharing with someone (especially a stranger), they are embarrassed, or afraid they will be labeled as the “problem”. You can still work on developing empathy, boundaries, and effective communication styles on your own and take those skills back to your relationship. In many couples, when they begin to see a change, they are more comfortable being part of the change.

Q: How does Couple’s Counseling work? What kinds of things do you focus on?

A: The first session is an evaluation of what is and is not working in the relationship. Sometimes this is done by meeting with each person individually and then together, but it varies based on the needs of the couple. The work done in a couple’s session primarily focuses on rebuilding intimacy by developing empathy, boundaries, and communication skills. The majority of difficulties clients face in their relationship are healed through this work.

Q: Do you do Premarriage Counseling?

A: Yes! Premarriage counseling often focuses on navigating some of the standard “deal breakers” couples may not have discussed (such as children, finances, boundaries, and etcetera). This type of counseling may also focus on creating a firm foundation on which to build a marriage by discussing and working through past hurts, resentments, or baggage we bring into relationships.

Q: Do you work with same-sex couples?

A: Absolutely! Additionally, same-sex couples often have unique challenges in their relationships that others may not. Having a therapist who is prepared to traverse these can be especially helpful.

Q: We have decided to separate, but want to make sure we still co-parent effectively together. Can you help us?

A: This is an incredibly difficult decision and I applaud you wanting to find ways to support each other in being the best parents possible. Communication skills, boundary setting, as well as processing as a family some of these changes can be very beneficial in achieving this goal. I would love to help.

Q: I have a question that is not addressed on here. How do I contact you to ask?

A: Please, ask away! Just click the “contact” button above for more information.